Why two capable colleagues just can't work together
Two talented, motivated people who both want the project to succeed. And yet every meeting ends in friction. It's one of the most common situations in the workplace, and it rarely has anything to do with skill or goodwill.
According to the European OSH Pulse 2025 survey, nearly 3 in 10 workers report poor communication or cooperation within their team. Most of the time, the problem isn't the people themselves, but the clash between two ways of working.
The real issue: different drivers
Each of us has a core way of approaching work, with our own priorities, fears and reflexes. What seems obvious to one person isn't obvious at all to another.
Take a common example:
- Claire needs structure. She wants a clear plan, defined steps and flawless work before anything goes out.
- Marc moves forward through action. He'd rather launch quickly, test and adjust along the way.
To Claire, Marc is sloppy and takes needless risks. To Marc, Claire is slow and holds the project back. Each reads the other's behaviour through their own values, and each feels misunderstood. Neither is wrong: they simply have different drivers.
Why conflict escalates under pressure
When things are calm, these differences are often an asset. Under pressure, they become breaking points. Stress amplifies our reflexes: the one who controls controls even more, the one who pushes ahead goes even faster, the one who withdraws shuts down completely.
The conflict then feeds itself. Each reaction reinforces the very behaviour the other person objects to, and the whole team ends up paying the price: tense meetings, delayed decisions, colleagues taking sides.
What changes when you understand each other
The answer isn't to change people, but to make the way they work visible. When Claire understands that Marc needs momentum to stay engaged, and Marc understands that Claire needs certainty to do her best work, the conversation shifts. It's no longer about who is right, but about how to combine both approaches.
In practice, this happens in three steps:
- Identify how you work, including how you react under stress.
- Understand how others work, without judging them by your own standards.
- Agree on shared ground rules: who decides what, at what pace and with how much detail.
A common language for the team
The Enneagram gives teams a shared framework for talking about these differences without making them personal. Instead of “you're too slow”, you can say “I need to move forward and you need to feel secure: how do we make that work?” That simple shift in vocabulary defuses much of the tension.
That's the aim of our team workshops: over two days, everyone discovers how they and their colleagues work, and the team leaves with a common language to collaborate better.